Prosecutor/Mommy

Filthy Farmers and Other Tales

2006-08-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

Do I like my job? Depends on what day you ask me! :) This morning I had a court trial with a crazy, filthy dirty farmer running an unlicensed junk yard on his property for the last five years. Despite his assertions that the vehicles on his property were fully operational, I had 15 photos of the property taken over the course of five years showing that several of the vehicles were parked in the same spot (some without wheels) and never moved! Guilty. Then I had a court trial with a really bitchy woman who objected to the police pulling her over for failure to signal a turn because they were just "looking for drunk drivers because it's well known that the police have a contest going to see who can pull over the most drunk drivers." Guilty on signal to turn, not guilty of failing to update her DL address. And on and on, speed trials with people claiming their car "can't possibly go as fast as the cop says", or a teen this morning was explaining that accelerating is not speeding. Trials are better than sitting at a desk, though!

Drunken Catfight, Goth Victim

2006-07-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

God, I get back from lunch, I'm eating my Hagen Daz raspberry cream sorbet bar, and my secretary comes in and tells me there's an assault defendant from out of town here to see me. Without an appointment. Can I tell you how much this irritates me? A lot. So I read the police report, and it was a drunken-brawl between sister-in-laws, and the defendant allegedly punched the other woman, giving her a bloody lip. Defendant tried to go into court today and plead guilty, but the judge wouldn't accept her plea because she wouldn't admit to the assault. So the judge sends her here to see if we can reach a plea so defendant can go back to Alabama. Oh, did I mention all parties were drunk? Yeah. So defendant and her husband with these thick, stupid-sounding southern accents come in here trying to plead with me to let her plead to disorderly conduct and pay a fine so they can go home tomorrow. But I have to contact the victim before I make any plea agreements. So I left a message on both cell phones numbers for my victim (two cellphones? Bad sign). And defendant says victim is a "goth" "satanist" "drug dealer" who burns herself with cigarettes until her husband does what she wants. So I look up the victim's DL photo. This woman looks like she bought out every black charcoal eyeliner at Target and applied them all to her face at once. Blond bangs, jet-black hair, eyebrow piercing. Beautiful. Welcome to my world. So I leave her two urgent messages to call me back. I'm not holding my breath. I told the defendant to call me back at the end of the day to see if I've heard from her. If she's ok with a disorderly conduct, I'm fine with sending Daisy Mae on her way back to Alabama after a plea to disorderly. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this. She comes up to my town, gets wasted, assaults someone, and I'm supposed to get her into court as fast as I can so that she can plead guilty to a lesser charge and leave.

Day 5 of vacation

2006-06-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

We are chillin' at the lake this week. I'm on my MIL's computer while doing laundry at her house (across the lake from the cabin). Last night we sat on the dock and saw a muskrat catch and eat a sunfish and heard the loons go nuts (they have two new babies!) I am currently stuffed to the gills, we just got back from A&W. Ava had her first root beer float, and was, in the words of Kramer, "LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!" That kid loves her sugar, where on earth could she have gotten that? Totally windy today, not nice enough to swim. We went to the park twice today, and Ava, as usual, would have stayed on the swing for HOURS if we had let her. The walking is coming along, I just bought her a "popper" walking toy, but it's not sturdy enough for her tastes. DJ and I just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary! Where does the time go?!? FIL took us all out to lunch, and I've got some funny video of Ava feeding him stars. He's a big ham, and she just eats it up! When I get home, I will figure out how to post it.

SHE'S MOBILE, LOOK OUT!

2006-06-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

I went home for lunch today (that's the beauty of living 2 minutes away from the office). Baby A was fascinated with her nail clippers, but also wanted to me to walk around with her. So I held one of her hands and she held the clippers in the other. When I let go of her hand, she just used it to hold onto the clippers, and took about 4 steps on her own before gently falling on her butt. Her first walk! And I got to see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so worried I would miss it. But that's not all, folks. I had previously taught her to give her stuffed animals a kiss, but could never get her to kiss me, I don't think she realized what it meant. I asked her for a kiss today and made the kissing sound and pointed to my lips, and when she wouldn't, I said "boo hoo hoo" and acted sad. She smiled, walked over to me, and kissed me on the lips!!! First walk and first kiss on the same day!!! And it's only the first day of summer vacation! By the end of the summer, she'll probably be reciting Shakespeare, performing long division, and jumping hurdles!

Too many toys, too many continuances, boring Sopranos

2006-06-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

It was torture leaving A and Erik home today and going to work. I've been so paranoid about having stuff for her to do while home with Erik all summer, I bought her a toy lawnmower and a kiddie pool and a water/sand table, and a used burley. Ridiculous. We finally took out the little tykes plastic car we inherited from the inlaws. She is obsessed!!!! Last night I walked her up and down the sidewalk in it for at least a half hour and she cried when I took her out of it. We have to hide it so she won't cry when she sees it and can't play with it--like when we're taking her in and out of the car.

Work is insane. I am so tired of work, I'm exhausted. I was on the jury trial list yesterday. I was 11th! Everything else went away except for Dan's drug case and Scott's DWI. Turns out Dan's case was up, they were gonna pick a jury this morning. So I say to Dan, are you sure your case is gonna go? You've talked to all your witnesses? He says yes, and I call off my witnesses. I left work a little early because I had worked over the weekend and came in early. I get home, and I'm on the toilet, and I hear the phone ring. Shit. I knew it was Dan. Sure enough, one of his witnesses was not served with the subpoena, and was going south on him, and he might have to dismiss the case, but was not positive yet, but he just wanted to let me know. I talk to one of the secretaries and tell them to call all my witnesses back and tell them they MIGHT be on the hook for wednesday (did I mention I have 9 witnesses?). So instead of a relaxing night, I'm thinking, will it go or not? If so, I really should do more work on it, I'm not totally ready. But I'm too tired to work, so i just watch some tv and go to bed early. Get to work early this morning, and I don't find out until about 9:30 today that the jury was sent home and my trial was continued. My trial that was NUMBER 11, should have gone, but didn't. I've been here only 3 hours today and it feels like 9. Gotta love telling witnesses, you are on, now you're off, no wait, you might be on again, oh never mind, you're off. See you in August, when it's set again.

Could this season of the Sopranos have been any MORE boring?!? The only storyline worth watching was gay Vito in New England, and they cut it all short! They could have made a whole new series about Johnnycakes! Why did they name Julianna's character after her real name? Why didn't Christopher get whacked? How could Carmela be so stupid about not knowing Tony had Adrianna whacked? What was the point of Tony's coma if he wasn't gonna change his life afterwards? Why have Carmela go to Paris? Those writers have a lot of 'splaining to do.

I'm taping "The Closer". I think I might be into that show, Sedgewick is pretty entertaining, and I love the accent and the sweets addiction. "Lovespring International" looks promising, love the tall chick from the Christopher Guest movies. Speaking of which, when's he gonna put out a new movie? I'm dying for some improv, people! Just went to the actual movie theater (instead of renting, like usual) and say Prairie Home Companion, which I was shocked to see was playing here in our little movie theater the first week it opened. Must be because it was a Minnesota movie. Garrison Keillor has a face made for radio, but it was a sweet movie. Woody Harrelson and John Reilly had the most memorable scene, in my opinion, when they sung a song about bad jokes. Linsday Lohan is NOT pretty without all the usual hollywood makeup and her singing is amateurish, at best.

Migraines suck

2006-03-01T20:00:00.000-08:00

I was diagnosed with a migraine for the first time in my life. The only med that worked was Tylenol 3, which made me feel like I was prosecuting while under the influence, so I went home early twice this week.
DH and I have totally gone nuts with the money and bought a dining set and new sofa. Can't WAIT until they arrive! I also bought some really sweet mod pillows for the sofa. http://www.2modern.com/productimages/inhabit/scribble-winter.jpg Decorating makes me happy! I also got a new rug from Pottery Barn that looks like jute but is really wool.

My meme ( i don't even know what that means)

2006-02-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

These are some subjects bloggers have been tagging each other with:

Four jobs I’ve had
1) I don't know what my job title was, but I worked at a large farm stand on LI where I would sort through rotten fruit and veggies and ring up purchases for obnoxious people from Manhatten. The free fresh corn at the end of the day pleased by parents, though. Little did I know that all the employees manning the "pick your own" fields were stealing from the till. So not only did they have more fun because they were totally unsupervised, they also helped themself to extra cash.
2) Dishwasher, cook, cashier, hostess, and waitress at the Riverhead NY Pizza Hut. You had to work your way up the ladder to waitress. Which actually is a good system, because if the cook screwed up my order, I could run back and make it myself.
3) Summer associate at a large law firm. Loved the perks like good tickets to the ball game and fancy golf club outings, hated the work. They didn't offer me an associate position, even though my performance reviews went fine. I was never very good at sucking up to partners, anyway.
4) Worked at law library during law school. Studied in between signing people up for study rooms. Good for gossiping, I ran into everyone in my class all the time.

Four movies I can watch over and over

1) Sixteen Candles--my teen years were ruined because I always prayed for Jake to come pick me up in the red Porshe.
2) When Harry Met Sally
3) Mother --love Albert Brooks!
4) Sorry, out of ideas.

Four places I have lived
1. London, England for half a semester during college(Earl's Court was my tube station)
2. Florence, Italy (the other half of that semester)
3. Shoreham, NY (born and raised)
4. St. Paul, MN (right off Grand Ave. during law school)

Four TV shows I love
1. Seinfeld (the penultimate) 2. Everybody Loves Raymond 3. King of Queens (starting to sense my East Coast sense of humor yet, people?) 4. Breaking Bonaduce (that guy is a total whack job and I hope his wife divorces him soon).

Four places I’ve vacationed
1. Rome, Italy 2. San Francisco (with DH) 3. Paris (not the one in TX) 4. Vegas, baby! (with DH)

Four of my favorite dishes
1. chicken broccoli alfredo (hence my big ass) 2. shrimp scampi 3. crablegs 4. PIZZA!

Four sites I visit daily
1. Dooce 2. midwestgrrl 3. msn.com 4. metrodad

Four places I would rather be right now
1. on a beach with a good book and a blue moon beer with a slice of orange
2. playing with my daughter (but only if she's in a happy mood and not cranky and sick and teething like the past 2 weeks)
3. seeing a broadway show with DH
4. anywhere but work

Is there no end to the sickness?

2006-02-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

It is now a week and a half after the ER visit. We've been battling a fever off and on ever since, she's lost 2 pounds, and she's back on the nebulizer because the cold or virus or whatever went into her chest. On Thursday I was home all day with her, she was battling a fever, at one point it was 104 degrees. She would not let me put her down the whole day, she just clung to me lethargic and stared off into space and whimpered. But the scariest of all was last night when she woke up and... hard to describe it. It was something between fever chills and a seizure from the fever. Luckily she snapped out of it, but it was a scary half hour. DH was late coming home from his play and not answering his cell and I was panicking and holding A and trying to figure out how to text him with my cell phone, which I've never done before. Luckily, he picked up and came home and I was on the phone with the blue cross health line and he was on the other phone with the local doc on call. We didn't need to take her into the ER again, thank goodness.

Work happenings--the med-alert bracelet thief pleaded guilty. A new attorney started in my office this week, female--straight out of law school, no family or friends in town and no apparent boyfriend, so I'm sure her life will be entirely about the job. We went out to lunch, and have some parallels in our personal lives--both of our moms are widows who never remarried, we both have sister who are 8 years older than us with a lot of kids and less education than we have. Both of our sisters were married to total losers. She doesn't like Seinfeld, though. I don't think I've ever hung out with anyone who doesn't like Seinfeld. For me, everything in life can be related to an episode of Seinfeld.

I bought Baby A a white shirt at Old Navy. It was marked down to 97 cents, and I was so excited. But when I brought it up to the counter, I noticed it had a pink spot on the lower side, and I told the clerk i didn't want it, so he said he'd give me 20 percent off, so I figured, she's just gonna get the thing stained at daycare the first week anyway, why not? So I walked off with a 78 cent shirt, feeling like George with the white cashmere sweater with the red dot. Then I get home and show the shirt to Erik and he says it looks like the Seinfeld puffy shirt ("but I don't wanna look like a pirate!") See there, two episodes out of one piece of clothing! What's not to love? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious!

Baby A's first trip to the ER

2006-01-25T20:45:00.000-08:00

We had our first big milestone as parents tonight--the first trip to the ER. Last night, Baby A woke up screaming at 11:30. We gave her some tylenol and anbusol, thinking it was teething, and after about 45 minutes of rocking, she fell asleep. She didn't take 2 of her normal bottles at daycare, but ate dinner and fell asleep during her last bottle at home. Then at 9:30 she woke up making the strangest barking sounds, and it sounded like she had trouble breathing, which scared the heck out of us. She didn't have a fever, though. We took her to the ER, and as we were checking in, some parents brought in a little boy who fell down the stairs a few hours prior and wouldn't stop vomiting. DH and I thought, "at least we aren't those people!", so we felt a little better about A's situation. Even though it felt like we were there forever, it actually only took about an hour and a half. Diagnosis--"the croup". They gave her a steroid shot, some medicine through a nebulizer (they also sent one home with us), and swabbed her for RSV (negative) and influenza (still waiting for results), and we were on our way home. We made it 11 months before our first trip to the ER, so I feel pretty lucky. As we left the ER, the waiting room was filled to the brim and they were telling an elderly woman that it would be hours before a doctor could see her, so we arrived at just the right time! Thank heavens for small blessings. Speaking of which, my friends Ed and Tammy just had a 9 pound, 6 ounce baby girl tonight. Can you imagine?

Stealing med-alert bracelets and other misdemeanors

2006-01-21T14:35:00.000-08:00

Had to post of pic of my baby A in her new dala horse pjs from Hanna Andersson. Hello, Swedish cutie!

Gotta work this weekend, will probably have a jury trial over a woman who stole a med-alert bracelet and sunglasses. Claims she can't remember doing it because she was on morphine. Whatever. She sure looked fine when she ripped the bracelet out of the plastic package, put it on her wrist, and ditched the packaging two aisles over. Then she goes and rips the tags of a pair of sunglasses and sticks them on her head and saunters of to do a little shopping, then walks through checkout without paying for the sunglasses and bracelet. Yes, I am really having a jury trial over this, people! She's got a buttload of priors, and even though the amount stolen was only 14 bucks, I just can't give her a petty misdemeanor. So now i have to go research the intoxication defense for this stupid case. Her public defender wants to get away with just introducing the medical report showing she received a shot of morphine that day. Good luck, sister.

They are having a baby Reunion at the hospital for all the 2005 babies, and the reunion falls on her birthday! Can't wait to go see how much cuter my baby is than everyone else's. Just kidding. Although look at that pic, can ya blame me for bragging?

NY was great!

2005-12-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

I'm still in NY, actually. It's the night before we leave, and the packing is mostly done. Went out for pizza and cannollis with a high school buddy. Gotta get in the NY food while I can. Afraid to step on scale when I get back! Baby A was a total trooper on the flight out, slept basically for the whole flight. Knock on bulkhead that she'll be as good on the way home.

"Wicked" was wicked good. Awesome themes, songs, set, costumes, performances. I totally recommend it. We walked from Penn Station to FAO Schwartz to Rock. Center. Our feet and legs are just recovering now, days later!

Forgot how many Italians there on here on LI. Not a natural blond in sight, unlike MN! Went to a huge movie theater in Holtsville, had a beer at the bar before the movie. Gotta love that! Saw The Producers, hellava show! Mom and I saw The Family Stone. Um, they really should warn you that it's totally sad, the previews make it look like a comedy! I cried basically the whole way through, with a few chuckles here and there.

So NY was basically eating Norwegian food (made by mama), bagels, Italian bread and roast beef sandwiches (10 bucks a pound, holy crap!), pizza, and egg nog, taking naps, and seeing movies. I probably gained 10 pounds this week!

Headed to NY for Jesusmas

2005-12-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

Thank god the transit strike is over, as we are going into the city to see Wicked on Monday. Hope to see the top of Rockefeller Center and hit the NBC gift store and maybe look into tickets to Conan for wednesday. DH wants to go to FAO Schwartz. I've been a nervous wreck all week getting ready for this trip. Hope Baby A handles the plane ride alright, since she's got a wicked head cold. The snot, my god, the snot! Like rubber cement clogging her poor nostrils.

Nip/Tuck finale--umm, could they have arrested anyone ELSE for the Carver's crimes? Gimme a break. And how Kit got involved in the investigation to begin with made no sense. Total jump the shark time.

We finally called it quits on the breastfeeding. Kinda sad, but we were down to once a day anyway (right away in the morning) and I still needed to feed her a bottle after, so it was taking too much time in the morning. So I let DH get up and feed her one morning instead of nursing, and then the next morning she bit me and turned away, I said "okay, I guess we're done with this." Kinda sad when I think about it, but who has time to think about it? I've got a trip to plan!

Tired, gotta hit the sack, gentle reader.
The pics are just some funny shots that I love.

I'm back! Miss me, non-existent audience?

2005-12-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

Baby A is thriving. The photo to the left was taken after she fell asleep in her snowsuit with her hood on and her head got a little sweaty. She still refuses to crawl, sittin' there on her duff like Queen of the May. She is 90th percentile for length, 95th for weight, and 100th for head size. The doc was concerned about hydrocephalus and wanted a ct scan, but i said, "isn't that a little drastic?" and so now we're gonna go back in to remeasure her noggin next month, along with mine and DH! Yeah, her head's a little big, but so is her whole body! She's totally proportionate and displays no symptoms that I've read for that condition, so I'm pretty cool with calling the shots here.
My coworker, with whom I used to socialize frequently, but not so much the last year or so, has left to go fulltime at the store she bought with a friend. It's kind of like of death. Sounds silly, but I"m constantly thinking of stuff I need to tell her (mostly gossip) and then I realize she's not there anymore. I feel like she has graduated and I'm still stuck in high school. We're getting five more police officers next year and we're only hiring one more attorney at work, so it looks like work is going to be crazy for the near future. Great.

Picture Day at Daycare and Accident Reconstructionists

2005-10-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

A happenings: A was the most dressed-up kid at daycare for pictures yesterday. I was the only mom who remembered to bring a back-up picture outfit in case of accidents. Not only that, I brought back-up tights for a minor leak, and a comfortable outfit for after pictures. Yes, I am obsessed. But at least I can admit it!

Work happenings: I am working on a jury trial for Careless Driving where a trucker drove right into the back of a Mercury Topaz, killing a toddler inside. Yes, there were some icy patches on the road, but the Mercury was traveling slowly in the right lane with emergency flashers on and there was no traffic in the left lane. I taking over this case from another attorney, so it's kind of hard coming into it midstream. But I'm handing over to the attorney a lousy crim sex case (no physical evidence, she was passed out and woke up in the middle of it, no injuries, no witnesses, he said vs. she said kind of case), so we're probably even. Although I'm going to have WAY more witnesses as well as as accident reconstructionist. I told my mother-in-law and mother about the facts of that crim sex case, and they had absolutely no sympathy for the victim. Guess we should try to avoid middle-aged female jurors on those kind of cases!

2005-10-10T08:52:00.001-07:00

Umm...could I BE any cuter?

2005-10-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

A's outfit for "picture day" at daycare.

I actually died of boredom today

2005-10-06T23:34:00.000-07:00

Work has been utterly uninteresting to me lately, thanks to darling baby A. Not that I want to be a SAHM, but working part-time would be so much more palatable. Alas, that is not to be. It's 1 a.m. and I'm up because A cried out in her sleep and I couldn't get back to sleep. Good thing I went to bed at 8:30 tonight. The dog and I are having some good quality time right now, she's in my lap. Too tired to think of anything else, gentle reader.

2005-10-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

Look at that belly!

Weird eyeball condition, Nip/Tuck commentary, and less of me to love

2005-10-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

As if I don't have enough problems, I noticed this morning that I have a small yellowish bump on my eyeball called a pingueculum. http://www.eyecancer.com/Content.aspx?sSection=Patient&sSubSection=Conditions&sPage=Condition.ascx&nID=71My internet research shows there's nothing the doc can do unless it becomes enflamed. Hope it goes away on it's own!

TV commentary-Nip/Tuck used to be my favorite show. But now it just seems to be going overboard on the shock factor. Threesomes! Matt loves trannies! Granny smoking pot with Matt! Gimme a break.

Weight loss progress--I've lost 5 pounds in a week and a half! Yippee! Not really dieting, just trying to watch it a little closer, and 30 minutes of elliptical 6 times per week. Although tonight is Girl's Night Out, and there will be wine, appetizers and cheesecake and key lime pie. I should probably fast all day to get ready, but I'm afraid of what it would do to my breastmilk production. I'm not going to list my daily food intake. I can't understand why people think other people are interested in what they had for lunch.

It's a (insert a subsection of society) thang

2005-10-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

Random observations: 1) I have now seen two car decals proclaiming, "IT'S A JEEP THANG", as if Jeep ownership was some exclusive club, rather than a vehicle owned by probably 25% of the general population. Mind you, these stickers were both located on Jeep Cherokees. Maybe a Wrangler owner can feel part of a cool little clique, but half the soccer moms in the country drive Cherokees. Maybe I should get a decal for my used minivan that says, "IT"S A STUDENT LOAN DEBT THANG."2) Nicolas Cage named his son after Superman's "Kryptonite name, Kal-el." This man is too stupid to be allowed to procreate. http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051004/ENTERTAINMENT/510040456/1005/ENTERTAINMENT

Work Happenings--Just watched a Fleet Farm surveillance tape (their system is really good, over 100 cameras that work on a track system, and can follow people all over the store). Two felons, wearing matching jeans, boots, and black leather vests with black tanks underneath, are seen wandering around. Then she-felon puts two cans of mink oil in her purse. They wander over to the boot section and both try on some boots. I guess she really liked hers, because man-felon kindly puts her stanky old boots in the box (did I mention they were Harley boot?) and puts it on the top shelf, and they meander out the door, where they are promptly stopped by loss prevention. They admit they stole and said they knew it was wrong, AND THEN PROCEEDED TO PLEAD NOT GUILTY. Story of my life. Because they were arrested shortly after this for a really big theft at Cabela's, they seem to think I should dismiss the misdemeanor files if they plead to the felonies. Why? I gotta great case!

A happenings--As I was watching her play this morning, and she didn't do what I thought she would do with a certain toy, I suddenly realized that she is an entirely separate person with her own mind! And she's only 7 months old! I know it seems silly, but I suppose I had subconsciously been thinking of her as some kind of extension of me, and not her own person. Scary thought.

DH happenings--He has lost 7 pounds and I've only lost 2.5. Bastard! I know he had a week's head start on the exercising, but it still bums me out!

Misdemeanors can be more work than felonies.

2005-09-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Crazy week at work, gentle reader. Now that I have switched from handling petty misdemeanors all the way up to felonies to just doing petty and regular misdemeanors, my workload has changed. The cases may not be as "serious" (although I happen to think that spousal assault is more serious than drug possession), but they need much more attention! I'm getting WAY too many phone calls from people about their freakin' traffic tickets (even though my outgoing voicemail says I do not plea bargain speed tickets, therefore I don't answer phone message about them). Domestic assault cases really entail bringing the victim in as soon as possible to get their side of the story before they start recanting. Think about it, you know your cop isn't going to go south on you, so you really only need to meet with him if you're going to trial, and most drug cases plead out, anyway. I'm really feeling overwhelmed. More so than when my caseload was mixed. My last pending felony crim sex (rape) case had a settlement conference today, and he refused to plead and the defense attorney is predicting a three week trial. How the hell can I manage that? Trials run from 8 to 1:30 with no lunch break. I usually go to daycare to nurse A at noon. I can manage not going to visit her during trials that last two days or so, but three weeks? I'd hate to have a jury trial force me to quit breastfeeding. I"ll tell you more about the facts of the case later, it's not a great case. Probably not even a good case. I've got a large glass of wine in me right now and I don't want to lose the buzz.

On a lighter note, here is my new desk and hutch for my office at work. It turned out to be much smaller than I thought it would be. I am ordering a 42 inch matching round table as well.

Any other Flying Spaghetti Monster believers out there?

2005-09-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

In light of the recent case at the Supreme Court addressing the teaching of evolution versus creationism in schools, I thought it would be a good time to spread the word of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. http://www.venganza.org/ I am dangerously close to ordering a FSM emblem for the back of my car, but nobody in my town would get it, anyway.

Work happenings: The victim in a domestic assault case did not show up for her appointment with me this morning. When I started the job, I had the foolish notion that victims would actually want my help. I no longer suffer from that delusion.

Home happenings: I have postponed our appointment for a family portrait on Sunday. I had wanted to have a nice picture of us in the park as the leaves turned, but I just started working out every morning, and would like to lose some more weight and get rid of the double chin before getting the picture taken! Maybe it's dumb postponing for just a month, but I really hate how I look in pictures lately, and at least I'll feel like I tried!

Baby A happenings: Once again, she feel asleep while I nursed her at lunch, so no playtime today. Bummer. Her voice has turned very raspy lately because she has a cold, and she is currently enjoying growling a la Stevie Nicks.

DH happenings: He has discovered that he doesn't have enough workout clothes for working out every morning as we have been this week. The sight of him working out on the elliptical in his tidy whities is very amusing, indeed!

2005-09-27T07:43:00.000-07:00

Crazy morning yesterday, barely got out of court in time to run to daycare to nurse darling A. The last hearing was a sentencing on a guy who violated a restraining order by using alcohol during a visitation with his son. The probation officer told me he was a .06 right before the hearing, so luckily it was continued. Ran to daycare, A was so hungry she started screaming when the milk didn't come in immediately! Fun.

Spoke on the phone with a friend in another jurisdiction. She works in a crime lab where it was just discovered that a forensic scientist was stealing prescription drugs from the narcotics lab! My poor friend and her co-workers were subjected to horrible scrutiny by their superiors until the suspect finally confessed. What the hell was she thinking? The media hasn't gotten ahold of the case yet. When they do, it's gonna be big! So all of the cases this chick was working on may be shot to hell. And she left a mess behind for everyone else to clean up. Strange how seemingly normal people can have a double life.

Took a test to determine which Napolean Dynamite character I am. http://quizilla.com/users/retromex/quizzes/Which%20Napoleon%20Dynamite%20character%20are%20you%3F/
Turns out, I'm Kip. Guess my love of nachos was the culprit. That, and cagefighting.

2005-09-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

No plea bargains today, Mr. Defense Attorney!

2005-09-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

This is A's first time wearing this outfit, since the weather's been so warm. And it may be the last, since the legs are a little short already!

2005-09-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

Zut alors! I ordered ze pain au chocolat, not ze croissant! Peasant!

2005-09-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, people. Just spoke with a new girlfriend who just gave birth on Sat. She is an OB nurse. After a terrible laboring process, they needed to use the vacuum to suck the kid out, and she felt the poor baby's collarbone break as she was coming out. My friend was so ripped up from the delivery she needed three levels of stitches and it took the doctor 45 minutes to sew her back up! She still can't sit down! Then the baby needed oxygen, and a few days later needed to see a specialist for a heart murmer, and then go back to the hospital again for jaundice treatments! Makes my c-section look like a piece of cake. (I'll tell that tale sometime soon, gentle reader).

So I went to a CLE (continuing legal education class) today about DWIs, not realizing the class would be mostly cops. I felt like a totally girly girl sauntering in with my pink plaid Le Sportsac purse and copy of Real Simple to read during the video presentation! Going to the CLE was really just a way to get the county to pay for my mileage so I could go shopping. The shopping in my town sucks, except for a mediocre outlet mall. Bought A the cutest black jumper dress and black pants from Old Navy (babies look so mod in black), and two sweet church dresses from Kohls. Got hubby some Docker golf pants (He is on a quest to find the softest trousers possible. How he can feel anything over all that leg hair is beyond me) What did I get for myself, gentle reader? Socks. Welcome to motherhood.

As I did not win Powerball last night, I'd best go to sleep so I'll be fresh for work on the morrow. Sweet dreams, non-existant reader, sweet dreams...

2005-09-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

At 7 months old, she's already into politics.

2005-09-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

"A" in the jumperpoo

2005-09-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

First blog entry. Lots of pressure. It all started with just attempting to post a comment on Midwestgrrl's blog, and wound up creating my own! Gotta laugh, wondering if anyone will ever read this besides myself! I'm a Long Islander (and no, you don't pronounce the "g") transplanted to the Midwest after attending a scandinavian Lutheran liberal arts college in Minnesota where I met my husband when we were freshman. (whew, run-on sentence galore!) I won't name the college but suffice it to say, shares the same name as the fictional town from which a certain Golden Girl character hailed. I was a speech/theater major and when I realized I was't going to be an actress in "real life" decided to go to law school since I since I sucked at math and science and couldn't think of anything else to do. (Plus my mom went through law school when I was in high school and she always told me that with a law degree I could do anything. Hah!) Got suprisingly good grades first year of law school which led to a clerkship at a large high-paying firm in the Twin Cities. I didn't bill time like a maniac because I felt guilty for billing the client for time that I was trying to figure out how to do stuff, whereas an associate with a little experience could have done that same work in half the time. So I didn't bill as much as I worked, and thus did not receive an offer of employment after graduation. Duh, what was I thinking? I should have fraudulently overbilled like everyone else, but c'est la vie. It all worked out for the best. I'm not an 80 hour work week kinda chick, anyway. So even if I had been hired, I would have lasted 6 months, tops. But I would have made a nice chunk of change for 6 months, at least! I have over 100 grand in student loans and will probably be Sallie Mae's bitch until the day I die.

After law school I worked as a part-time public defender which led to a job as an assistant county attorney (kinda like the chicks on Law and Order, but I don't look like a model). Used to do felony and gross misdemeanors, but since the birth of my gorgeous (and I'm totally not biased about that) baby girl, "A", have switched to handling just misdemeanors. Because why would I want to waste every other weekend prepping a jury trial that 9 times out of 10 will settle Monday morning anyway, when I can be with my little sweetheart and her handsome daddy? Misdemeanors I can prep with one or two sleepless nights, so there you have it. Forgot to mention my darling shih tzu, Molly, who provided great training for parenthood. Although thank god A doesn't like to eat her own poo like Molly. Strangely, I think it's just that Molly likes to keep a clean yard. She doesn't eat it when we are walking in the park. And Molly only likes the taste of steaming fresh poo, she won't go near the old stuff. So at least her poo palate is a little discriminating. So what happens is, if i don't watch her in the yard until she poos and then yell out "cookie!" when she turns around to eat it, she gobbles that shit up. Literally. If I yell "cookie" in time, she'll run up the hill to the house and gets her lowfat dog treat. I'm quite the dog trainer, n'est pas?

Back to "A", she is 7 months old and I'm still breastfeeding three times a day and go up to her daycare center at lunchtime to feed her and play. I just stopped pumping at work a month ago. Why did I stop? Well, it sucked. Ok, bad joke. But it was killing my back to lean over to pump all the time. I can't believe I'm still breastfeeding, 6 months had been my goal. But she doesn't have teeth yet, and it really helps her take a nap when I feed her after work so I can get dinner started, so there ya go. Still "lactating". Hate that word. Like I don't already feel like a cow. Ok probably wasted enough time for today on a blog entry that no one will read anyway. More news of the weird tomorrow.